


Bones the Hero

by Holy_Leonards



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: And he has an agenda, Crack, M/M, McCoy disrupts said agenda, Nixon, Nixon appears, Saves galaxy, boldly going
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 19:36:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3867268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Leonards/pseuds/Holy_Leonards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Enterprise responds to a distress call. What they beam up is not exactly what they were expecting</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bones the Hero

**Author's Note:**

> I am mixing my current love of Star Trek fan fiction with my older love of political fan fiction.

There was a distress call coming from a nearby planet 

“Help me! I promise you that I am not a crook!”

The whole bridge looked at each other and then Kirk shrugged and said “Let's see what he wants”

“This is the captain of the starship Enterprise. We are coming to beam you aboard.”

The Enterprise made its way to the unknown planet and went into orbit. 

“What do you make of him, Spock”

“Censors read that it is a human. Impossible, captain! It says that he is over 300 years old!”

“That can't be right. I want security to head to the transporter room. Spock, McCoy, and I will head there too. I want a look at this.. thing with my own eyes.”

They made their way to the transporter room and got into position. 

“Alright, Scotty, beam him up”

“Aye, sir”

The transporter made its usual spectral sounds. What materialized was far from what anyone aboard the ship thought would come aboard.

The first thing that they saw were the distinct jowels of one of the most iconic men of 20th century America, Richard Milhaus Nixon. 

“Thank you for saving me, son” The president said.

Nixon looked over at Spock

“What's with that damn hippie's ears!”

“Who are you?” Kirk asked

“You don't know me? I'm your president”

“How were you contacting us from the planet's surface”

“Irrelevant, hippie!”

With that, Nixon stormed off. 

“What in the hell are we witnessing?” Kirk asked.

They all followed him. Nixon made his home in Kirk's quarters. 

“Get me some damn space food, hippie!”

The replicator spit out a plate of food cubes. 

“Oooooooh colored fruit. Wait a minute! Probably laced with L..D...S or whatever it is the stupid hippies are into!” And he threw the tray across the room.

“Maybe the good doctor will help me relax!”

Nixon made his way straight to the sickbay.

“Dammit, Hippie, help me relax!” Nixon ordered.

“What in the damn blazes is going on here?” McCoy asked

“I am your president! Now, help me out!”

“You're dammit insane to think I will take orders from you!”

“Dammit, hippie, listen to me!”

“I dammit think I won't!”

Then, they both jumped into each others arms and started making out wildly. Soon, hands were plunging down pants, penises were being stroked, and eventually pants removed. 

“Who is gonna, dammit, bottom!” McCoy asked

“It sure as hell isn't going to be your damn president, hippie!”

“Dammit, fine, I'll go right ahead and damn bottom!”

So McCoy bent over one of the sickbay beds. Nixon, as hard as his foreign policies, moved right in for the kill. He slipped it in as far as he could go and then finished as soon as he made contact with the interior of McCoy's ass. 

“Well, that was damn disappointing! You call yourself a damn president!”

Suddenly, Nixon exploded in a fire of red, white, and blue. 

McCoy had just saved the galaxy from another scandal with his asshole.


End file.
